It's a mainstream profession these days. Where once the sound of hammers on steel dominated, now it's the clack-clack of keyboards pummelled by the dramatically-inspired we hear. Slowly, the next ocean-going novel takes shape on the stocks. For a country once awash with shipyards, its now all come into the home. Towering ships of imagination leap from the page like Cutty Sark on the southern trades.

Aye, very good Wilson, you've been at the bottle again, eh?

It's been known to work. Drunken writer by night, sober editor by day.

But seriously, more people than ever identify themselves as writers. It's maybe not your first words uttered if Waterstones or W H Smiths remain untroubled by your creation, but in the company of like-minded addicts you'll stagger to your feet and twist and shout, 'I'm a writer.'

I've been wrangling creative writing for 7 years. I'm on novel #4, another crime thriller set in Edinburgh.

Breaking through the concrete ceiling into mainstream publishing is very difficult. Writing five or ten good novels isn't enough anymore. You have to have a 'media profile' and an audience and even then agents and publishers will treat you like a sour smell unless you are one of the 'names'. So, how to you do it?

Trying to be somebody (a nice line from those Kings of Leon boys) will give you a sair heid, so don't sweat it. Be yourself, write what inspires you, but learn the ropes along the way; until you can pitch in your sleep, or in the shower, or scribble on the back of a fag packet while changing a nappy, doing the crossword. Writing is a skill to be honed. Tell everyone you're a writer and learn to excite readers by bringing your stories to life.

And don't be afraid to make a cock of yourself in front of others; if you're Scottish, its mandatory.